Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
A: Law School
*bdum tish*
Q: What goes "HA HA HA HA" ..... thump!?!?!?
A: A monster laughing its head off
Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?
A: The Lost Neck Monster
Halloween Jokes
Halloween Jokes
There are heaps of 'em, but here are a couple of my faves:
Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
A: Law School
*bdum tish*
Q: What goes "HA HA HA HA" ..... thump!?!?!?
A: A monster laughing its head off
Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?
A: The Lost Neck Monster
Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
A: Law School
*bdum tish*
Q: What goes "HA HA HA HA" ..... thump!?!?!?
A: A monster laughing its head off
Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?
A: The Lost Neck Monster
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party but the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
She felt better an hour later so decided to go to the party and thought she'd have some fun by putting on the costume her husband hadn't seen and watching him to see how he acted when she was not about. She slunk up to him, and being a rather seductive babe herself, he devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished until finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a wee bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." so she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!"
She felt better an hour later so decided to go to the party and thought she'd have some fun by putting on the costume her husband hadn't seen and watching him to see how he acted when she was not about. She slunk up to him, and being a rather seductive babe herself, he devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished until finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a wee bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." so she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!"
-
eefanincan
- Admin
- Posts: 6646
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:05 pm
- Location: Canada
faceless wrote:A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party but the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
She felt better an hour later so decided to go to the party and thought she'd have some fun by putting on the costume her husband hadn't seen and watching him to see how he acted when she was not about. She slunk up to him, and being a rather seductive babe herself, he devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished until finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a wee bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." so she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!"
I just spent the day with my 5-year-old niece, MacKenzie (we call her "Kenzie" for short -- very proudly, I must add, since she's named for my Grandmother) and was privvy to a HEAP of Halloween jokes!
Q: What does a baby ghost wear?
A: Boo-ties!
Q: What does a Witch eat at the beach?
A: A Sand-wich!!
Q: What does a baseball player use on Halloween?
A: A vampire Bat!
(Not bad for a 5-year-old, eh?)
And now, one from my Dad:
A Skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the barman, "I'll have 2 shots of tequila, a pint of lager, and a mop."
Get it?
*bdum tish* (thanks Faceless, for the sound FX!)
Q: What does a baby ghost wear?
A: Boo-ties!
Q: What does a Witch eat at the beach?
A: A Sand-wich!!
Q: What does a baseball player use on Halloween?
A: A vampire Bat!
(Not bad for a 5-year-old, eh?)
And now, one from my Dad:
A Skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the barman, "I'll have 2 shots of tequila, a pint of lager, and a mop."
Get it?*bdum tish* (thanks Faceless, for the sound FX!)
