A dirty old man fondled my leg
By MARTN PHILLIPS
Senior Feature Writer
September 04, 2006
LITTLE Britain is very, very big. With three smash hit TV series and a sell-out tour behind them, David Walliams and Matt Lucas are now filming their Christmas special and planning another blockbuster tour. But life hasn?t always been so rosy. To coincide with the release of their new book, Inside Little Britain, David and Matt have given The Sun a startling insight into the troubled history of their comedy partnership and the secrets of their childhoods.
In Day One of a brilliant series, David recalls a childhood encounter with a dirty old man ? and how depression nearly cost him their big break. IN a central London studio, Matt and David are taking a break from rehearsals for their Christmas TV special ? but the laughter rarely stops. Something about one of his characters ? the outrageous former children?s entertainer Des Kaye ? reminds David of the time a ?dirty old man? fondled his leg after a scout master took him to a nudist camp.
His bizarre experience of the Sea Scouts, from the age of 11 to 14, is revealed in Matt and David?s new book Inside Little Britain. It is a diary of the pair?s phenomenally successful ten-month nationwide Little Britain stage tour, which began in October last year. But in parts it is also deeply confessional about aspects of their lives. Many people will be shocked by their frank revelations, and left uneasy about the Sea Scouts episode in particular.
Co-stars ... David and Matt Lucas
Talking exclusively to The Sun, David and Matt reveal they are now comfortable with episodes from their past and prefer to take a lighter view, concentrating on the happy times they are now enjoying.
Des Kaye?s favourite audience participation game, Hide The Sausage, may seem deeply suspect during their live show, but it is nothing compared to the antics of the scout masters David came into contact with as a child. The once-a-week gathering was run by two men for whom games meant bathtime ?fun?, where David and his young pals would run around while the men chased them and slapped their bottoms.
In the book David writes: ?It?s weird to think of it now, but they would do stuff like say, ?Now you?ve got to put this wetsuit on . . . it?s very tight-fitting, so you have to take your trunks off and we?ll have to rub some baby oil into you in order to slip it on.? ? David still grimaces at the thought. ?You wouldn?t get away with that now, but back then it just struck me as a bit weird,? he says.
David also tells the story of the time he forgot to bring his cagoule so one of the men in charge bent him over, ordered him to take down his pants and whacked him with a sail baton ?really, really hard?. He says: ?Now I would think, ?What right have you got to hit me ? you?re just a f***ing scout master!??
Graduation ... Bristol 1992
Then there was the time one of the leaders organised a special trip to Holland for six of the boys, including David, and they arrived at the campsite to find no one wearing any clothes. ?Yeah. It turned out to be a naturist camping site. So we spent the time naked, sleeping in the same tent.? David said: ?Now I haven?t read the scouting rules recently but I don?t think they include taking the boys to naturist camps!? On his return, David told his mother they had been to a nudist camp, but she did not believe him.
On the first night at the camp, he recalls, they were in a cafe when a naked man sat down next to them and David suddenly felt the man?s hand on his leg under the table. He said: ?I remember thinking it was quite weird but at that age you just don?t say, ?I?m sorry, what are you doing?? You kind of let the dirty old man feel up your leg.? Even now, at the age of 35, David wavers between finding the memories creepy or funny. But he is quick to say he was never abused and never found his Sea Scouts adventures overtly sexual. Just weird.
?It was just one of those things. A lot of people have experiences like that, where things happened as children and you just accepted it, and then in later life you look back and go, ?Hang on!? It?s not like I was traumatised by it. I have met up with a lot of people I was at Sea Scouts with and all we talk about is, ?Do you remember when this happened or that happened? That was a bit weird, wasn?t it??
University years ... David on stage in 1989
?Looking back on it now it was bizarre, but it was a more innocent time then, in the early 1980s. It was not the same environment as now where it is a lot more complicated. There are a lot more rules and regulations and there is a lot more anxiety about it.? David adds: ?It?s not like that was in any way the inspiration for Des Kaye. They are different ideas. But we talked about it on tour because I was in the Sea Scouts and it was all a bit suspect, and now we have got the quite suspect character of a kids? entertainer.?
At the age of 11, when he first took up acting at Reigate Grammar School, Surrey, David had already discovered he could get laughs from camp behaviour. When a boy who was to have played the Queen in the school play dropped out because he was embarrassed about wearing a wig and a dress, David jumped at the opportunity to play the role, and was thrilled to see his mum proudly pointing him out as he had the audience laughing. Fast forward 23 years and he now has audiences of more than 12,000 roaring with laughter as he and Matt dress as ?laydees? for their live stage show.
Sitting in their simple rehearsal studio, Matt says: ?People assume that as you play to bigger audiences, things become stressful or that we are at each other?s throats, but we are just having a lot of fun. When we talk in the book about our trials and troubles, that is all about our past lives and actually we both feel very lucky at the moment, and very grateful for all the people who come to see us and keep coming to see us.?
They brought out the book because they heard an unofficial biography was being produced and thought the truth would be better coming from them ? only to find that the unofficial biography was ?really boring? with ?nothing interesting in it at all?. David adds: ?We wanted to get the information out there and to be honest. If it comes from you I don?t think it can harm you.?
Characters ... wigs for Little Britains Lou and Anne
David went on to reveal Little Britain almost didn?t happen because of depression which landed him in hospital. Ironically, the illness struck just as he and Matt were enjoying their big professional break, finishing writing the first TV series of Little Britain and preparing to film it. For more than a year David struggled to sleep, and when he did he would wake in a cold sweat with nightmares. After nearly 12 months, he was starting to go mad. He was anxious, exhausted and even delusional. He was losing weight rapidly and it was starting to look like they would have to cancel the shoot, which left David even more distraught because he prided himself on being professional.
He had to book himself into a hospital and with a careful combination of good psychotherapy ? dealing with distressing events in his childhood that helped explain the way his mind worked ? anti-depressants and the help of good friends like Rob Brydon, David Baddiel and Morwenna Banks, he pulled through. David said: ?It is something that effects a lot of people. It does not make me special. It is just an illness you can get at certain times of your life if things go wrong and you get to a point of despair. You have got no love of life left. It was a very weird time to be experiencing it when we were about to make the show but that was probably a good thing for me ? that I had something to think about and work on. If I had been an out-of-work actor at that time it would have been really difficult.
Holiday ... David and family in 1974
?It was awful not having any enthusiasm but if you broke your arm you would go to the doctor, wouldn?t you? So if you are depressed and you can?t sleep you need to go to see the doctor and sort it out. It is really good we know enough about it now, that it is defined and people can seek treatment. Things got better for me personally and the series did well and things were all right. It was just a period in my life which now seems a long way away.?
The days of playing to ten drunks in Edinburgh seem a long way away too, as Matt and David prepare to release their book, a DVD of the tour, a third series DVD, launch a new tour and film their Christmas special.
?We are just enjoying every moment,? says Matt.
----------------
