As I Mature!!! Ive learned that you cannot make someone love you... all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. Ive learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. Ive learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. Ive learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, youd better have a big willy or huge boobs. Ive learned that you shouldnt compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. Ive learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think youre finished. Ive learned that we are responsible for or what we do, unless we are celebrities. Ive learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relptionship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place! Ive learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I'm sarcastic, have a dry sense of humour and am not interested in seeing you on web cam or how well endowed you are. Please remember this if you decide to mail me! Oh and i wont reply to quickmails... if you dont have enough imagination to write your own message... i dont have the inclination to reply, sorry but thats me!
Description of ideal friend or partner
Danny Dyer...Failing that...Im 5ft8 so tall would be good.
Can you say yes to any of the following questions?
Are you at least 40% human? (Doctor's note may be required as proof. Vet's notes not accepted)
Have you spent time in prison (or a mental institution)?
Do you take more than three Prozac a day?
Do you owe vast sums of money to 'Jimmy the loan shark?
Is standing by the side of the road dribbling and swearing at traffic your occupation?
Have you still got all your own teeth?
Would the Elephant Man turn his nose (trunk?) up at you?
Do the staff at the Sexual Diseases clinic know you by your first name?
Have you got spelling mistakes in your tattoos?
Count your limbs- Do you have less or more than four?
Do you smell of cat's wee? (or any other pets)
Are you a good swimmer because of the webbing between your toes?
If you've answered yes to most of the questions- then Thanks I've already met you!
And if you're still reading PLEASE DONT MAIL ME if you are MARRIED, BISEXUAL, looking for 'FUN' or a DISCREET encounter. I dont do WEBCAM, am not intereasted in photos of your DANGLY BITS and if you do insist on mailing be warned... ABUSE does offend!!!
Unfortunately I answered YES to two questions.
