Darwin and other stupid people awards

[Bat]

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5.

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7.

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10.

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***

[girldorksrule]

2.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

I cannot breath I am laughing so hard.

[faceless]

[web]https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7360416.stm[/web]

You'd have thought that a priest would place more value on his life!

The daft bugger.

[pirtybirdy]

They have a better outlook on his being alive than I do. I think he's swimmin' wif da fishies, or he's a shark's snack.

[Bat]

A prime contender for the Darwin award I think.

[SpursFan1902]

Without a doubt. Good thing priests don't reproduce...he can't pass on that stupidity!

[faceless]

[web]https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10611973[/web]

I blame the grog!

[faceless]

Man dies trying to leap 30ft across harbour in his Rover hatchback in 'Starsky and Hutch'-style stunt
23rd August 2010

A 20-year-old was killed in a ‘Starsky and Hutch’-style stunt trying to jump 30ft across a harbour in his car. Jamie Hocking had told friends he would one day use a pier as a ramp and leap over the water in his Rover hatchback and land on the other side. But when he came to carry out the dare at the quayside in Porthleven, Cornwall, his car toppled straight over the edge and plunged into the sea.

Eyewitness Helen Sankey told an inquest that Mr Hocking - who was over twice the drink-drive limit - had tried to jump the gap by accelerating ‘violently’. She said: ‘I could see a car going forwards and backwards into a chain preventing access to the harbourside. I ran back into the pub to get help before returning to the scene. The car was accelerating violently. It made a final run at the chain and this time made it through.’

Mr Hocking, described as a ‘happy-go-lucky’ farm worker of Helston, Cornwall, died on December 18 last year after a Christmas party with friends. He had drunk about ten pints of lager and cider. The inquest in Truro heard Mr Hocking regularly told his friends he would take on the stunt and jump 30ft across the harbour. But police later said it would have been ‘impossible’ for him to have successfully completed the stunt.

Cornwall Fire and Rescue Service, coastguards, two RNLI lifeboats, police and ambulance crews were called when the car plunged into the water. A search and rescue helicopter was also scrambled and divers were able to attach a winch to the rear axle and tow the car out. Forensic officers later said tyre marks on the quay indicated the car had hit a bollard before it plunged into the water. Coroner Dr Emma Carlyon recorded an open verdict and drowning as the cause of death.

Speaking after the hearing, Mr Hocking’s family thanked those who had tried to rescue him and said he was dearly missed. A statement said: ‘Jamie was tragically taken from his family and many friends. ‘He was a loveable rogue and will be truly missed by all who knew him.’

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[faceless]

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2012/04/ ... ver-county

Thanks to Skylace for letting me know about this pair of serious contenders!